My Only Obsession
Posted On: February 06, 2017
My Only Obsession
I’m writing today from what feels like a fragmented heart. Perhaps there will always be remnants of that, if nothing else, to remind me of my total dependence on Abba Father. I have been crying out to Him so much and I know He hears me, so something must be stirring within me.
I remember years ago I wrote that salvation is the process through which God removes all obstacles that keep us from knowing Him. Do you ever feel like sometimes that you are on the ultimate obstacle course… that everything possible is thrown into your path, just when you thought you were making progress? Why are we always struggling for something more?
From the time we are born we have a strong desire to possess, and even as children we say, “this is mine!” We can never truly own anything; we can only borrow it for a short while. God gives us many wonderful things in our lives to enjoy, but these things were never meant to rule over us or drive us. The blessings we have in this life were meant to be held loosely and not clutched in fear or sought after in desperation. However, until our void of need and want is filled with what God intended—to truly know Him and be known by Him—we will continue on the path of possessing.
It is so subtle and our hearts are so easily deceived that only through the Holy Spirit’s revelation can we even see what we are striving to possess. Part of our struggle as humans is that we are obsessively striving to possess the very things that will only bring death and destruction to our hearts and souls. We long for what will never satisfy us and will only bring more emptiness with its loss.
So what are we trying to possess that is so wounding our hearts? One of the greatest wounds we bear in life is loss. If we are trying to possess another person within a relationship, we will experience some kind of rejection or the loss of connection eventually. If we are trying to possess significance, we will at some point suffer the loss of status or reputation. If we are trying to possess material things, we will experience loss through taxes, theft, decay, or the loss of our interest. If we are trying to possess even our own health, we will experience loss every day that we grow older and move toward death.
Sometimes we only cover the pain of our loss and go through our lives using whatever we can find that fits for the moment to help us numb the pain. If we can’t possess it, we use it, and when it is all used up, we move to the next available thing that life offers at the time.
We must realize that we will always experience loss because we were never intended to possess anything but God’s love.
If we look at the life of Jesus we can see His one true obsession—His relationship with His Father. Jesus came to do the will of His Father, which was to restore the breach in our relationship with Him. Jesus wanted so much to reveal His Father’s love and acceptance to us because He knew that was the very thing for which we were made and without it we would forever remain empty.
The Song of Solomon says it well... ”I am my beloved’s and he is mine.” When our obsession, our one true desire, becomes our Abba Father and the lavish love He has for us, we can know fulfillment and true joy for the first time. Once we have tasted the bread from His divine table, nothing else will satisfy. There is no peace so settling, no joy so lasting, and no love so healing to the heart. His loving-kindness is better than life itself! Our hearts were made for Him, and He is the only one who can hold our hearts and fill us to overflowing with the never-ending fountain of His love.
So in this broken place today, I can be thankful that I’m aware of my losses; I’m aware of my emptiness; I’m aware of my need, my hunger, my thirst. I can lay all of this brokenness at His feet, knowing that He will not turn me away empty but will give me the one thing I need the most—Himself…
my only obsession!
Written By: Karen Ward @ blog.hopetojoy.com